QUEENS DAY TEAM!

Tomorrow is Queens day, just the biggest holiday of the year where everyone dresses up in orange and participates in a huge nation wide garage sale! Or drunken dance parties if your into that... or is that just amsterdam?!

Crash

Wow so two weeks ago I had a burn out. On night I just had a bit of a mental breakdown. Not being able to control my emotions I began to have to process everything I've been involved in this past year. I realized that I haven't taken a break in a year. No vacation. Really no time to myself, I did Youth Works last summer starting at the end of May and I started that right after my two jobs. Then I came straight here. And it wears on you. I've been involved in this ministry for over seven months. So I got some sick days.
At first I went to my aunt and uncles home in Ede where I felt at home. Having their beautiful home to myself during the day and enjoyed my loving family around me at night. Got some good counseling and talks with my aunt (mothers sister). Wow I had alot to go through but that was a good place to do it. Taking walks in the forest was a regular with their family dog names Lara.
I went back to the Shelter after three days and tried function properly. I could just put my work face on but I knew I wasn't done yet. I knew God wasn't done teaching me and pointing things out in my life yet. So I had an intense meeting with my manager and really realized things I need to work on and ways I need to change in my day to day life and interacting with the people i work with. She gave me four more days off. This time I went to Zwolle where I stayed at a farm just outside the city. It was beautiful, stayed with an older couple (age of my parents) it was incredibly peaceful and quiet. I was faced more and more with myself and God showed me Himself as the way out of my cycles. I found freedom and forgiveness in Him. On the last day He really spoke to me about my future and gave me confidence and security.
One chapter in the bible God kept bringing me to was John 15:1-17. Reminding me to remain in Him in His love and apart from Him I can do nothing.
Also a CD that comforted and spoke out my heart during this time was Shawn Mcdonald's CD called Live In Seattle.
I also learned alot from the books, 'living on the devil's door step', 'Irresistible Revolution' and 'when people are big and God is small'.
Here are some Photos of my time on the farm near Zwolle.
(relaxing country side)
(cows)


(Quira and Mrs. Knol)
This next peice is something I wrote at the end of my processing speaking out to God my heart. Giving real reason for following Him with a full heart and also proclaiming truth and breaking lies i belived about prayer, scripture and worship. God is an awesome God.

I Am, not what I am not, nor I should be. I Am God's child, servant and friend. I Am called. I Am a lover of people; broken, rich, whole or poor. I Am, not what i do or don't do. That is not how i define myself as. - I long to pray more and I know that doesn't make me more holy or wise, just more connected with my Father, Lover, and Friend. I want a hunger for the word (bible) not so i can show off my wisdom, knowledge, or acomplishments but so i can know my Father, Lover, and Friend in a deeper way. I long to worship to a fuller extent of passion and freedom. To be inspired to lay it all befor the cross and give glory to my Father, Lover and Friend. -> Maybe through my closness to Him I'll be able to function as His daughter in the broken world. Love as unconditionaly as my Father, Lover and Friend. Forgive as readily as i've experianced in my Father, Lover, and Friend. Maybe i could be filled with a strenthening joy that brings life to those around me. Joy that inspires life through my Father, Lover and Friend. -> Through my relationship with Him I have been made complete and whole. He is delighting in me and loves it when I take time to delight in Him, He is such a faithful Father, Lover and Friend.

Cleaner Supervisoring

Wow had a crazy cleaning team. They all have intense spiritual views and backgrouds. Its cool to walk with them, but also intense and hard. Other aspects of Cleaning Supervising that I've been learning to walk confidently in is the leadership aspect. How to modivate my team and get the best results witch is a great clean hostel. I have to force myself to make sure I walk as a leader not only a friend. Its starting to work but its not that easy.

Alpha with Omo

We hired a cleaner from Seychelles (island nation) she had done a medical internship in The Netherlands earlier this year. She had stayed at the shelter city for a time. She came back to Amsterdam for the purpose of cleaning with us she also wanted to continue with the Alpha course that she started with one of the staff at Shelter City. So I took over going through the Alpha course with her. It was a great time to share with her and walk with her in her questions about faith. It was so great to see her many questions answered by the truths in the bible. Its like when the word and truth is spoken all the lies and doubts fall away into nothingness.

EASTER

We had an extra hostel night this month to celebrate Easter!
I joined in, travelers nights are always a good chance to connect and talk with guests. I sat with two Norwigian ladies and one of their daughters. We had a good time talking and enjoying the meal. It turned out that they were christians and were very happy that they chose to stay in a hostel that celebrats the true meaning of easter. They told me their testimonies of how Jesus changed their lives it was cool to see that God is moving everywhere in the world!!! I was very encouraged by them and there testimonies.

Tinas dream was out REALITY

The night before our faith and fasting we all were busy with preperations, with no time or energy to go to the shelter for dinner we threw together a meal everyone who was around joined in, it was great because the weather was so nice we could sit outside!
That evening Tina came she was a new staff american member who came from doing ministry in england with 24/7 prayer communities. She joined us for two weeks.
Tuesday we had a ministry wide Faith and Fasting day (fasting from monday after dinner to tuesday dinner)We had a worship time with staff and managers from both hostels. After we split off into groups and listened to what God wanted to say to us and the ministry. God spoke alot! giving people visions, words and scripture. It was powerful to hear and see Him speak through each of us.
After our time of prayer and thanksgiving we took communion together as a ministry.
(Mo(hamad) black man in the pic is serving and leading the comunion)
>Me and the extra comunion bread
After communion we broke out into praise and feasting. There was a great dinner prepared for us. (with beautiful bookmarks)
To God be the glory!
After dinner I lead a mini dedication time for the prayer room. Told about the heart and history and how God made it happen.
Tina the girl I mentioned earlier piped up at the end of my mini talk, she said she wasn't going to say anything unless we talked about a tree... i did... so it all came out her story... here it goes.
Basicly two months ago her prayer comunity had a prayer week and one of the activies was a deam wall. She didn't have anything to write on it so she gave God the time to inspire. She ended up writeing the word SHELTER across the top of the page writing IS 56:4 "for this will be called a house of prayer for all nations" then she drew a tree around it. She was very confused by her dream and seeing it hanging on the wall a day before flying to Amsterdam she was frustraighted and crossed out the dream writing MORE FAITH over it. Coming to amsterdam she found our hostels were called the SHELTER + the verse IS 56:4 painted on our community house wall + a newly finished prayer room with a huge mural of a tree on the wall.